Jim’s Journal: You’re the Director

May 7, 2014 in Jim's Journal

In a previous Jim’s Journal I shared that you are the director of your movie (i.e., your life).   You should direct, write and star in your own film.  You are also in charge of the roles others play in your movie.  Every movie has good guys and bad guys so you get to determine how large a role they play in your life.  My question is, “Are you writing the best roles for your good guys or for your bad guys – for your Titans or for your Titanics?”  Over the years, many have shared that they have a difficult time reducing the screen time for their bad guys, especially if that bad guy is someone in their family or another intimate.  Remember, we teach people how to treat us – and they catch on fast.  When you’re ready to reduce the role of the person who you let drain the life out of you, invite them to have a “crucial conversation.”  During that conversation:

  • Share with them (factually and specifically) what’s happening
  • Share how it’s landing on you (or your perception/your story)
  • Ask for their perception
  • Work to reach a compromise for how you’re going to create a win-win
  • Share how you’re going to “show up” going forward if the two of you ARE or UNABLE to sing from the same song sheet
  • Be positive and be respectful

Remember, it’s your movie!

 

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