Jim’s Journal: How Can You Not Hear Yourself?

July 24, 2013 in Jim's Journal

When I began to write this journal entry my intent was to send a message solely to trainers, speakers and facilitators. However, I believe this entry is one that everyone can benefit from. I create a number of feedback moments during my training sessions. I call it “praise and polish” time. It’s one of my favorite segments of the workshop because I get an opportunity to see the learners practice their new skill and hear others respond, react, coach and offer feedback. Their thoughts usually hit the mark – bull’s eye! These same feedback experts, however, make myriad excuses when the feedback mirror is moved in their direction. The words they use to defend their behavior are powerless, limiting and reek of insecurity and lack of trust. Sometimes I feel like saying to them, “Hey, I know a guy who wrote a book on eliminating excuses…you want to meet him?” I shake my head at times thinking, “How can they not hear themselves?” I think we should change the quote, “Do you see what I’m saying,” to “Do I hear what I’m saying?” This might create new outcomes for you.

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